More about walking

I like to wander on purpose, but I can't even imagine doing so because you don't know who you are...

Another case for the nightwalk

Poor guy, he should really get a map or some gloves or some courage enough to ask someone where the eff he is!

What I want to do Right Now

What I want to do right now is allow (make) someone to bear witness to my humanity, my life, my events for the past few (unreported) weeks. I think my life looks pretty cool right now. Right Now. It's a cold night out there and I can't think that there is anything better out there than what I am doing. I am sitting at home Right Now, listening to cool-sounding soul 45s (WFMU), drinking Punt E Mes, my new drink, contemplating buying a piece of property with someone I barely know with money that barely exists, working on my script for my event in a week and a half, my book proposal, which also barely exists. Soon I'm gonna start working on my finances. I don't know, I just feel like things look pretty cinematic Right Now, but is it that dumb existential cliche (if a moment is cool and no one is there to see it, feel its coolness, is it still cool?)?? It could just be the soul hits and the apertif talking.

Dear Jesus, What are the rules of punctuation when it comes to parentheses and quotation marks, anyway? I really need to know. Love, your pal.

I tried to ask the dude this question a while back and I felt the answer I received was incomplete and not satisfying. Hmmm, anyone else?

Duh, I would love it if the Mister would call me out of the blue Right Now, confess that he was just afraid of my awesomeness and he's ready Right Now to reconsider things and give the whole go-around another shot. I bet there are a couple of girls who are wishing this. Most notably his Ex. But I really have no idea since he never talked to me about her. Except to say, unconvincingly, that she was super awesome. I don't see any of this happening. Not Right Now, anyway. (Still delusional.)

I had L take out a rental client today, since I was in Greenpoint looking at sale props. He is the guy who put in the Kingman application and then, after a series of events, found himself back in the market. L said today he had some serious remorse about not taking the place on Perry Street for $3600. I'm sorry too, dude. You cost me $3000. Whatever he closes on now, hopefully with me, I have to split with L, since she took him out today. Best case scenario now is about $1500 each. Worst case is obviously a bunch of work for nothing.

Got two decent ad calls today. The people seemed nice, who knows...I think I'm gonna make myself try to take out one of the clients tomorrow, even though I'd rather work from home tomorrow. But I will probably have to take Perry Street out again too.

I really need to make a big chunk of money sometime soon, though ($5000 by noon). I am CONVINCED that if this happens I will be able to finally concentrate on everything I need to do to write that masterpiece, make those two or three WIKIPEDIA entries I have been meaning to do, learn to sing and play the drums and start a band in earnest. Seriously. Plus learn to draw better, read 10 books, go to Brazil to visit my friend, go to Israel to visit my other friend, buy a car, sew myself a dress, mail packages to my cousin's kids, clean behind my bed, design and teach a cooking class at the cook store in Williamsburg, learn enough about graphic design to do all my own work, become a more prolific, more hilarious blogger, improve my vocabulary, both written and spoken, and find a boyfriend. I am officially ready to have my mind blown by someone's incredible awesomeness.

I guess all that healing hasn't really done the trick yet... But I still heart Pnina.

Wburg, partying with children

Barry Manilow

2 suffixes that are over and must never be mentioned again: -tastic, -tacular. Not cool.

K came up with this:
Kitch Punk=Punk with a Gimmick. Punk with Rainbows. Punk with Recorded Beats and matching shirts. Punk rock, I suppose, has designer (dressy) sweatshirts now, references the 80s, looks like it works at a suburban fried chicken place. Yes, I'm talking about Best Fwends, who showed fantastic enthusiasm and put on an all around good show. I guess that's where the 22-year olds are taking things these days. Fun stuff. Oh yeah, and I liked their banner.

Rainbow Brite had some sharp dance moves. Very reminicent of the fence-hopping Coin Co-op/Casa Zimbabwe parties of the late 90s--the sprinkler and the bus driver and all that. I can thank JJ for opening up to me the world or narrated dance moves. Shell necklace and Wrong Crooked Hat had vanished or failed to truly capture my interest by then, so I gave Rainbow Brite my number and said we should hang out in Greenpoint!

Can't a girl eat a deep fried rabbit in peace?

Last night I did a deal via text message. That's pretty hilariously New York City of me, I'd say.

I was at Il Buco tasting some of the new menu and sipping Punt E Mes and a call came in from the Indian banker who has been jerking me around and trying to jack me on the fee. Being in a crowded and bustling restaurant, I didn't answer but instead texted him that I was at dinner and had he made a decision?

Me: at dinner. Are you interested in proceeding w/apt & trying for $2175?
Him: My other broker found another apartment for $2195 (with one month broker fee)-if you can push the broker fee to 10% ill go with you..


(The whole time I am thinking about how you can't close Indians)

Me (to DW):Ny tower dude just texted me that other broker found apt for $2195 w 1 mo fee. Said if we can do 10 percent he'll go w us.
DW: Do the deal @ 10% how early can I see an app?
Me: I texted him w info & fax #. I'll let you know.
Me: he says he just sent bank statement, job lttr and paystub just now. I sais I'll send app in am. Also, will pay 10 perc on 2200 but wants to try for $2175 rent.


(If there is a percent % key on my phone, I can't find it. Also, I cannot find +, which I could really use in humorous text messages..)

Me: ok deal @ 10 percent. Get me paperwork 1st thing in am. Or fax tonight to 212 475 3700 attn e-- l--. Job lttr,bank statement,paystub 2005 taxes etc.
Him: ill fax first thing tomorrow am - I will still pay the 10% on 2200, but would appreciate if you can get the rent to 2175. Appreciate you working with me.
Me: Ok cool. Early as possible!!
Him:Just faxed bank statement, salary info and letter, and paystubs!
Me:Awesme. I'll email fax you app in am.

Now it is the AM and we've all been on the phone a few times. I think it is actually happening!

Genius or a big waste of time?

Probably somewhere in the middle. I can amuse myself on a consistent basis. I amuse others enough of the time so I qualify as a funny person. Anyway, reading old emails, I found this.

New Years

Instant warmth. Right in the vestibule "Ritchie" shook, then slowly, with eerie purpose, kissed my hand. The mom hugged me and introduced herself as "The Mom." DZ, caviar, champagne, 12 foot ceilings, crown moldings, a huge sleigh bed staring at us from the other room. DZ pointed out the gold shoe shoved into the bookcase, next to the "Art of Caring for the Shar-Pei." She said that's why she feels at home.

We took my plastic glass of champagne and braised brussels sprouts/radicchio/leek concocsh downstairs, then I felt at home. Sarah was sitting on the floor fishing candy out of the crevices of the rough-hewn coffee table. They told Robert, a boarder (?) that an elegant young lady was coming to dinner. I met the Shar-pei; she had had an eye lift, since the rolls on her eyelids were causing her to go blind.

Everybody calls "the parents" (as they called themselves) by name, by their first names. In conversation, they are "my mother" and "Ritchie". I like this. My brother and I call our mother by her first name. We used to call our father by his. Now, to me, he is mostly, "my dad". I think that's because I am not around a lot of people who know he was "Harvey".

At one point, "Ritchie" sat down on the barely made king size bed, hit the Bose clock radio, changing the tune from My Sharona to I think I'm Turning Japanese. Of course. Later, DZ and I followed him into the tiny, 80's renovated upstairs kitchen where we cagily watched him almost saw off his thumb with the bread knife. I think he hacked out 4 or 5 pieces before he tired of the project, throwing it all into a colander and handing it over to us. Works.

Over the years, I have gotten more comfortable being in this movie. I used to think I was too boring, or not attractive enough to be IN the scene. I always felt like a watcher. I still feel invisible sometimes, but more and more, I see that people can see me too, participating. It helps when I am on fire, funny-wise. This is a cool movie to be in. COOL! I love cool. It's a huge reason I live in New York.

Also awesome: ManGuy, Sashay, De'ShAUnte, So Be-yoo-ti-ful, Daddy's farts make him cry, lavvy, Jessica, shoot it straight ahead! Tender duck breasts with cherry reducsh, gingerbread house with the rainbow connection and an asshole (butthole?), bathroom photos, muppets, and ManGuy again.

Year End List or Cyberlinks, My Love

Cyberwandering yields awesome results, once again!

I have never written a Year End List. But I figure if every jerk on the internet can do one, so can I. And it is an opportunity for shameless self and friend promotion:

Wait, this list is something worth looking at.

Stuff that happened to me in 2006:
Crushed out, fell in L, got crushed.
Found my best friend again, through a series of letters.
Pissed off 500 hippys.
Got my violin back from Bushwick.
Road trip to Maine!
Got a myspace page (it's still ugly so don't friend me).
Other junk I can't remember right now.
In the final hours of 2006, I learned about and subsequently fell in L with a mythical figure by the name of "ManGuy". I still haven't seen his sword, though.

This might be ManGuy, but I am not sure.

Shit. Now I'll have to make this list about 2007. I'm sure I have plenty of opinions about it. I usually do.