New Years

Instant warmth. Right in the vestibule "Ritchie" shook, then slowly, with eerie purpose, kissed my hand. The mom hugged me and introduced herself as "The Mom." DZ, caviar, champagne, 12 foot ceilings, crown moldings, a huge sleigh bed staring at us from the other room. DZ pointed out the gold shoe shoved into the bookcase, next to the "Art of Caring for the Shar-Pei." She said that's why she feels at home.

We took my plastic glass of champagne and braised brussels sprouts/radicchio/leek concocsh downstairs, then I felt at home. Sarah was sitting on the floor fishing candy out of the crevices of the rough-hewn coffee table. They told Robert, a boarder (?) that an elegant young lady was coming to dinner. I met the Shar-pei; she had had an eye lift, since the rolls on her eyelids were causing her to go blind.

Everybody calls "the parents" (as they called themselves) by name, by their first names. In conversation, they are "my mother" and "Ritchie". I like this. My brother and I call our mother by her first name. We used to call our father by his. Now, to me, he is mostly, "my dad". I think that's because I am not around a lot of people who know he was "Harvey".

At one point, "Ritchie" sat down on the barely made king size bed, hit the Bose clock radio, changing the tune from My Sharona to I think I'm Turning Japanese. Of course. Later, DZ and I followed him into the tiny, 80's renovated upstairs kitchen where we cagily watched him almost saw off his thumb with the bread knife. I think he hacked out 4 or 5 pieces before he tired of the project, throwing it all into a colander and handing it over to us. Works.

Over the years, I have gotten more comfortable being in this movie. I used to think I was too boring, or not attractive enough to be IN the scene. I always felt like a watcher. I still feel invisible sometimes, but more and more, I see that people can see me too, participating. It helps when I am on fire, funny-wise. This is a cool movie to be in. COOL! I love cool. It's a huge reason I live in New York.

Also awesome: ManGuy, Sashay, De'ShAUnte, So Be-yoo-ti-ful, Daddy's farts make him cry, lavvy, Jessica, shoot it straight ahead! Tender duck breasts with cherry reducsh, gingerbread house with the rainbow connection and an asshole (butthole?), bathroom photos, muppets, and ManGuy again.