What I want to do Right Now

What I want to do right now is allow (make) someone to bear witness to my humanity, my life, my events for the past few (unreported) weeks. I think my life looks pretty cool right now. Right Now. It's a cold night out there and I can't think that there is anything better out there than what I am doing. I am sitting at home Right Now, listening to cool-sounding soul 45s (WFMU), drinking Punt E Mes, my new drink, contemplating buying a piece of property with someone I barely know with money that barely exists, working on my script for my event in a week and a half, my book proposal, which also barely exists. Soon I'm gonna start working on my finances. I don't know, I just feel like things look pretty cinematic Right Now, but is it that dumb existential cliche (if a moment is cool and no one is there to see it, feel its coolness, is it still cool?)?? It could just be the soul hits and the apertif talking.

Dear Jesus, What are the rules of punctuation when it comes to parentheses and quotation marks, anyway? I really need to know. Love, your pal.

I tried to ask the dude this question a while back and I felt the answer I received was incomplete and not satisfying. Hmmm, anyone else?

Duh, I would love it if the Mister would call me out of the blue Right Now, confess that he was just afraid of my awesomeness and he's ready Right Now to reconsider things and give the whole go-around another shot. I bet there are a couple of girls who are wishing this. Most notably his Ex. But I really have no idea since he never talked to me about her. Except to say, unconvincingly, that she was super awesome. I don't see any of this happening. Not Right Now, anyway. (Still delusional.)

I had L take out a rental client today, since I was in Greenpoint looking at sale props. He is the guy who put in the Kingman application and then, after a series of events, found himself back in the market. L said today he had some serious remorse about not taking the place on Perry Street for $3600. I'm sorry too, dude. You cost me $3000. Whatever he closes on now, hopefully with me, I have to split with L, since she took him out today. Best case scenario now is about $1500 each. Worst case is obviously a bunch of work for nothing.

Got two decent ad calls today. The people seemed nice, who knows...I think I'm gonna make myself try to take out one of the clients tomorrow, even though I'd rather work from home tomorrow. But I will probably have to take Perry Street out again too.

I really need to make a big chunk of money sometime soon, though ($5000 by noon). I am CONVINCED that if this happens I will be able to finally concentrate on everything I need to do to write that masterpiece, make those two or three WIKIPEDIA entries I have been meaning to do, learn to sing and play the drums and start a band in earnest. Seriously. Plus learn to draw better, read 10 books, go to Brazil to visit my friend, go to Israel to visit my other friend, buy a car, sew myself a dress, mail packages to my cousin's kids, clean behind my bed, design and teach a cooking class at the cook store in Williamsburg, learn enough about graphic design to do all my own work, become a more prolific, more hilarious blogger, improve my vocabulary, both written and spoken, and find a boyfriend. I am officially ready to have my mind blown by someone's incredible awesomeness.

I guess all that healing hasn't really done the trick yet... But I still heart Pnina.